Destiny, and a Seventeen Year Old's Encounter with Failure
My dad often tells me, "Work hard. But in the end whatever has to happen will happen, you cannot control your destiny". I find this rather uninspiring. I always reply that if my fate is predefined that why should I work hard at all. Let this great 'destiny' determine everything, I'll just sit back and relax.
I have nourished my dream for a long time now. I have worked very hard for it, taking each and every step I needed to, in order to get closer to it. Often times, there have been setbacks, obstacles. I have often fallen down. I have been told a zillion times that I should quit, that I won't be able to make it. That it is very difficult.
Lotof people have given me examples of others who tried and failed. But I have, always discarded all that.And today, when I find myself so close to achieving my dreams, I feel a little lost. I worked so hard for something which I thought was going to be a major step towards the fulfillment of my dreams. I was so sure of making it. Nothing could possibly have gone wrong, after working so hard. But something did. I don't know what, but it did. That's when I remembered my dads words.
I wonder, is there something as destiny? Is everything predetermined?
Was I destined to lose? Is this life's hint that I should be focusing on something else?
After three years of working really hard for one thing, when life hits you in the head with a brick, you're left wondering if you had been lost all along.
To be honest I don't know. ..It's hard to think of abandoning my dream when I have nurtured it and worked hard for it so long. It's hard to even accept the possibility that I might have been deluded all this while.
Today, when my mind is haunted by the fear of failure, I seek control. And I am being forced to realize that my life, is not entirely in my control, that success may not always be proportional to efforts, that there is this thing called fate. I detest the idea that my life has to be controlled by some great force other than those within me. Does it have to be this way? And why so?....
As I seek these answers, I am reminded of the words of Ella Wheeler Wilcox, from her poem, “Will”- "There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control The firm resolve of a determined soul. "