Donkeys vs Dogs- Strategies for Donkeys

      If I were to describe human behavior by comparing it to animals, I would pick donkey and dog. As the famous story goes, when the donkey is shown a carrot, it chases and walks towards it. That applies to many of us as well. Show us a reward and we will get to work. Others of us behave more like dogs. Now, what do dogs do that donkeys don’t? They sniff. All the time. If there is a bone in the room, they will sniff and find it. They don’t need to be shown the bone in front of them for them to go and get it, oh, no. You put the bone in the next room, they will sniff their way to it and get it.

To put things in better perspective, let’s imagine a conversation between a donkey and a dog…

Dog: Hey Donkey, why are you standing still? Why don’t you look around for carrots?

Donkey: I don’t see any carrots.

Dog: Yeah.. but why don’t you go search over there, you might find something? 

Donkey: Yeah, there is a chance that I MIGHT, but what if I don’t? Why waste time and energy when I could just stand here and relax. (relatable, anyone?)

Dog: Dude, what?! How can you be so lazy… Whatever. I’m going to search for a bone.

Donkey: Where though? Do you know where the bone is?

Dog: No, I’m just going to start searching..it usually works..If I search long enough, I usually end up finding something.

Donkey: Wow…that never works for me. Any way, good luck, I’m just going to sit here and relax.

Some people will follow their curiosity and interests without thinking about the ‘carrot’- the end result or what they may get out of it, thus exhibiting dog-like behavior. They will sniff and keep sniffing and eventually find something valuable. You know who I’m talking about. That kid in your class who stayed up till 4 am reading about quantum computing just because she was interested to know more, and ten years later, she’s in Silicon Valley inventing cutting-edge technology. Or that guy with a day job who devoted his entire weekends to making YouTube videos just because he ‘wanted to try it out’, without necessarily having a plan or vision or making any money, and five years later, he’s a Youtube Millionaire. I recently spoke with someone who runs a brilliant podcast — he doesn’t make any money out of it, he doesn’t have a vision or plan of where he wants to take it, no concrete idea of how it will help in his future career. But in addition to having another job to make ends meet, he runs this podcast, and it’s amazing.

...You get the idea. There are people like that. And then there’s me. Or, well, people like me. The donkeys. Unless we see a carrot- a clear, concrete idea of what we will get out of doing something, we will not do it.(I understand that this isn’t always the case, there are some activities that may give you intrinsic pleasure and you may do them without seeing a ‘carrot’. For example, if you like to play the guitar, you’ll play everyday, for fun. But you probably won’t quit your job, start a band, invest in professional equipment and record an album.. unless you see it going somewhere, will you?)If you’re a donkey like me, do not worry. It’s not over for us. There are several successful people who are donkeys. We just need some different strategies to get to work.

1. Write Down Your Goals

Write down your goals. Pen and paper, please. And be as specific as possible. For example, don’t just write ‘lose weight’. If you want to read everyday about a particular subject, set that as a goal. And don’t just write that you will spend half an hour everyday reading about that topic. Write down the exact number of pages/chapters/articles/books you will read everyday.

2. Look At Your Goals Everyday

Stick your goals on a wall in your room where you are forced to look at them everyday. This helps keep the motivation up.

3. Track Your Progress

At least once a week, record your progress. Now this is super-important.

You need to believe that you’re getting closer and closer to your carrot with every step you take.

I like to do it on the papers I have stuck on my wall: For example, record your weight every week. Or, if your goal is to read a certain number of books by a certain date, record the number of pages you read. Also write down what you learnt from that, and how it will help you attain your bigger goals.

4. Reward Yourself

Promise yourself a reward for attaining your goals, and be sure to reward yourself when you do. We donkeys need to have our carrots and eat them too. (See what I did there? :))

P.s.- I’m not saying it’s binary for everyone- some of us are sometimes more like dogs, other times more like donkeys.

The four steps mentioned above would help anyone and everyone, regardless of whether you’re more like a donkey or a dog. But donkeys definitely need it more.

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If you liked reading this post, do comment below. This will encourage me to write more 🙂

Do we most value the things that are difficult to attain?

Those who have overcome great adversity in life can take satisfaction from Thomas Paine’s assertion, “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” For people truly to appreciate their victories, they must be able to contrast them with the hardships they have undergone. To value their good fortune, they must suffer ill fortune as well.

In most cases, the greater the adversity the more proud and triumphant we feel on reaching our goal. This is largely due to the fact that we attach a lot of value to our time and effort. Thus, when we reach our goal, it becomes a lot more valued because of the time and effort spent in attaining it.

When we are kids, our parents give us money to go out and buy stuff. At that time the money is readily available to us and we keep asking for more. We don’t bother too much if we lose some or waste some here and there. We don’t attach a lot of value to it. That’s because it’s o readily and easily available to us. But, when we go out in the real world and start earning, it is then that we realize the value of money. That has suddenly become much more prized for us because of the time and hard work we spent in earning it.

Likewise, we might suppose that for a great football player like Wayne Rooney scoring one goal may not be a very big thing. But when that goal is scored at the last moment of a defining match it becomes so precious that he celebrates by removing his T-shirt and running around the field.

What matters is what we feel inside our head. If we have faced great obstacles in attaining something, it becomes much more precious for us. The most important fights to fight are the hardest ones, the ones that cost some people everything they have. Only by fighting such a hard fight will you truly value your victory.

The Audacity Of Hope

There was once a fifteen year old boy who dreamt of becoming a basketball player. His friends and family were in full support of his ambition. But, I guess, his fate didn’t support him. On the eve of his school’s basketball match, he was kicked out of the team by his coach because he wasn’t tall enough.

All the other players were 6 feet or taller. He was 5’10. That left him heart-broken. He felt angry, at himself, and at life, for having treated him so badly. He had practiced regularly for months. He had worked hard. He had sweated it out. He deserved to get a chance to play. But life wasn’t fair to him, like it isn’t for most of us. The faith inside him was shaken. But he hung on to his ambition. He clung on to hope. A hope, that someday he would be the basketball star he wished to be.

During the summer after his sophomore year, he trained rigorously. He grew four inches during that time. The next year he was selected in the team. After two years he earned the basketball scholarship at a celebrated university. He led his college basketball team and won them all the games. He was named player of the year. He won many awards and titles during his college basketball career. Later, he went on to become the greatest basketball player of all time. He is none other than Michael Jordan.

Had he not hung on, we would have missed seeing a legend. Had he given up after failing, he would probably be working at a local coffee shop today. Had he lost hope, he wouldn’t have become the star he wanted to be. This, is the audacity of hope.

You will fall down. You will get hurt. There will be times when you’ll feel empty, hollow. Then, the easiest choice will be to give up. But you must hang on. You must not quit. When all is lost, there is one thing to support you: Hope. It takes a lot of courage, yes, to hold on when the times are dark. But you can do it. Everyone can. You just need to tell yourself that everything will be alright soon. Then it most certainly will be. It is said that the darkest hour of the night comes just before dawn. I couldn’t agree more. When you're at your lowest point, when all seems lost, have hope, because things can only get better from there on.  When things are extremely bad, it may signal that they are about to get much better.You always see things at their worst just before things get better. Life is like a rollercoaster, you're down one minute and up the next. Just stay strong because peaks always follow troughs.

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”- Michael Jordan 

BRICK WALLS

    

  We all have to face obstacles and hurdles in life. It is the same for all. Life is unfair for all. We have to be prepared for it. Trust me on this- you will fall down, you will get hurt, there will be people trying to stop you from achieving your goal, there will be days when you’ll feel lost, betrayed, wronged. Like I said, it is the same for all. But then why is it that some people are more successful than others?...why do some people lead a better life than others?...why are some people so rich and some so poor?...if everyone has to face similar adversities in life why is it that some people suffer while others prosper?...

The reason is very simple. We all face difficulties, but what makes us different from the others is how we choose to respond to those difficulties. When something bad happens, there are three ways in which people usually respond-

• Their self-esteem falls apart. Their emotions take over their brain. They can’t think clearly. These people generally have the ability, resources and intelligence to accomplish what they want to but they become weak when things don’t go as expected and begin to lose hope. Gradually, as life goes on and they have to face more hardships, they cry, they lose all hope and finally give up.

• Then, there are people who blame their luck for whatever happens to them. When they have to go through hard times, they blame life for it. “Life is not fair”, “I am so unlucky”, “god is favoring the others” are the common phrases you would have heard from these people. They are always making excuses. They want to succeed, but they refuse to accept their mistakes. They are always blaming others, luck and life for whatever they did wrong.

• They accept their mistakes and learn from them. They don’t blame life or luck for their bad times. Neither do they sit and cry. They don’t let their emotions take control of them and they don’t get mad when everything is going bad for them. They always remain in control of their actions and think clearly before taking action. These are the people who ultimately succeed.

So here are a few important things which you need to remember-

→ “You will fall down, you will get hurt but there are better things to do than wallow in self-pity”

      → Have a positive attitude. Believe in yourself. Build your self-esteem.  

“If you think you can or if you think you can’t, either way you are right” 

→Never give up. If you fail once, try again, and keep trying till you succeed.

“A man who succeeds does not succeed because he is braver than the others, it’s because he was brave for ten more minutes.”

→Learn from your mistakes. Making a mistake is alright, but making the same mistake again is not.

→Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment;  so if you’re having a bad day, don’t worry-you might be getting a whole lot of experience.

→Don’t lose hope.

→Brick walls are there for a reason- they are there to stop those from going ahead who don’t want it badly. They are there to separate the ones who want something badly from those who have a casual approach. If you want something badly, you gotta fight for it and overcome the obstacles in your way. 

BEST OF LUCK  :)