"We are What We Choose"






A REALLY INSPIRING SPEECH DELIVERED BY THE FOUNDER OF AMAZON.COM, JEFF BEZOS . . .



Remarks by Jeff Bezos, as delivered to the Class of 2010
Baccalaureate Princeton University
May 30, 2010


"As a kid, I spent my summers . . .

with my grandparents on their ranch in Texas. I helped fix windmills, vaccinate cattle, and do other chores. We also watched soap operas every afternoon, especially "Days of our Lives." My grandparents belonged to a Caravan Club, a group of Airstream trailer owners who travel together around the U.S. and Canada. And every few summers, we'd join the caravan. We'd hitch up the Airstream trailer to my grandfather's car, and off we'd go, in a line with 300 other Airstream adventurers. I loved and worshipped my grandparents and I really looked forward to these trips. On one particular trip, I was about 10 years old. I was rolling around in the big bench seat in the back of the car. My grandfather was driving. And my grandmother had the passenger seat. She smoked throughout these trips, and I hated the smell.
At that age, I'd take any excuse to make estimates and do minor arithmetic. I'd calculate our gas mileage -- figure out useless statistics on things like grocery spending. I'd been hearing an ad campaign about smoking. I can't remember the details, but basically the ad said, every puff of a cigarette takes some number of minutes off of your life: I think it might have been two minutes per puff. At any rate, I decided to do the math for my grandmother. I estimated the number of cigarettes per days, estimated the number of puffs per cigarette and so on. When I was satisfied that I'd come up with a reasonable number, I poked my head into the front of the car, tapped my grandmother on the shoulder, and proudly proclaimed, "At two minutes per puff, you've taken nine years off your life!"
I have a vivid memory of what happened, and it was not what I expected. I expected to be applauded for my cleverness and arithmetic skills. "Jeff, you're so smart. You had to have made some tricky estimates, figure out the number of minutes in a year and do some division." That's not what happened. Instead, my grandmother burst into tears. I sat in the backseat and did not know what to do. While my grandmother sat crying, my grandfather, who had been driving in silence, pulled over onto the shoulder of the highway. He got out of the car and came around and opened my door and waited for me to follow. Was I in trouble? My grandfather was a highly intelligent, quiet man. He had never said a harsh word to me, and maybe this was to be the first time? Or maybe he would ask that I get back in the car and apologize to my grandmother. I had no experience in this realm with my grandparents and no way to gauge what the consequences might be. We stopped beside the trailer. My grandfather looked at me, and after a bit of silence, he gently and calmly said, "Jeff, one day you'll understand that it's harder to be kind than clever."
What I want to talk to you about today is the difference between gifts and choices. Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice. Gifts are easy -- they're given after all. Choices can be hard. You can seduce yourself with your gifts if you're not careful, and if you do, it'll probably be to the detriment of your choices.
This is a group with many gifts. I'm sure one of your gifts is the gift of a smart and capable brain. I'm confident that's the case because admission is competitive and if there weren't some signs that you're clever, the dean of admission wouldn't have let you in.
Your smarts will come in handy because you will travel in a land of marvels. We humans -- plodding as we are -- will astonish ourselves. We'll invent ways to generate clean energy and a lot of it. Atom by atom, we'll assemble tiny machines that will enter cell walls and make repairs. This month comes the extraordinary but also inevitable news that we've synthesized life. In the coming years, we'll not only synthesize it, but we'll engineer it to specifications. I believe you'll even see us understand the human brain. Jules Verne, Mark Twain, Galileo, Newton -- all the curious from the ages would have wanted to be alive most of all right now. As a civilization, we will have so many gifts, just as you as individuals have so many individual gifts as you sit before me.
How will you use these gifts? And will you take pride in your gifts or pride in your choices?
I got the idea to start Amazon 16 years ago. I came across the fact that Web usage was growing at 2,300 percent per year. I'd never seen or heard of anything that grew that fast, and the idea of building an online bookstore with millions of titles -- something that simply couldn't exist in the physical world -- was very exciting to me. I had just turned 30 years old, and I'd been married for a year. I told my wife MacKenzie that I wanted to quit my job and go do this crazy thing that probably wouldn't work since most startups don't, and I wasn't sure what would happen after that. MacKenzie (also a Princeton grad and sitting here in the second row) told me I should go for it. As a young boy, I'd been a garage inventor. I'd invented an automatic gate closer out of cement-filled tires, a solar cooker that didn't work very well out of an umbrella and tinfoil, baking-pan alarms to entrap my siblings. I'd always wanted to be an inventor, and she wanted me to follow my passion.
I was working at a financial firm in New York City with a bunch of very smart people, and I had a brilliant boss that I much admired. I went to my boss and told him I wanted to start a company selling books on the Internet. He took me on a long walk in Central Park, listened carefully to me, and finally said, "That sounds like a really good idea, but it would be an even better idea for someone who didn't already have a good job." That logic made some sense to me, and he convinced me to think about it for 48 hours before making a final decision. Seen in that light, it really was a difficult choice, but ultimately, I decided I had to give it a shot. I didn't think I'd regret trying and failing. And I suspected I would always be haunted by a decision to not try at all. After much consideration, I took the less safe path to follow my passion, and I'm proud of that choice.
Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life -- the life you author from scratch on your own -- begins.
How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?
Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize?
Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?
I will hazard a prediction. When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story. Thank you and good luck!"

Interview with God...

The first part of this article is has been taken from khushwant singh’s book, “Gods and Godmen of India”
I dreamed I had an interview with god. “Come in,” god said, “so you would like to interview me?”
“If you have time,” I said. God smiled and said, what questions do you have in mind to ask me?”
“What surprises you most about mankind?” I asked.
God answered: “That they get bored with being children; are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again. That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health; that by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future. That they live as if they will never die and die as if they had never lived…”
God’s hands shook and we were silent for a while. Then I asked… “As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?” . . .
God replied with a smile, “to learn that they cannot make anyone love them; what they can do is to let themselves be loved. To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives. To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.
“All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis! To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most but one who needs the least. To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love and that it takes many years to heal them.
“to learn that there are persons who love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings. To learn that money can buy everything but happiness. To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally differently. To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them…and likes them anyway. To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but they have to forgive themselves.”
I sat there for while enjoying the moment. I thanked him for his time and for all that he has done for me and my family. He replied, “I am here twenty-four hours a day. all you have to do is to ask for me and I’ll answer.”
People will forget what you said,
People will forget what you did,
But people will never forget
How you made them feel.

HOW DO YOU HANDLE ADVERSITY?


A young woman told her mother how difficult things were for her.
She did not know how she was going to make it and felt like giving
up.



Her mother took her to the kitchen and filled three pots with
water. Soon the water started boiling. In the first pot, she placed
carrots. In the second, she put eggs. And in the third, she placed
coffee beans. She let them sit and boil.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them on a plate. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it
in a mug.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "What do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," her daughter replied.
Her mother handed her some carrots. They were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.
After pulling off the shell, she observed that the egg was now hard
boiled.
Then the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
Then the daughter asked, "What does all this mean?"
Her mother said that each of these had faced the same adversity --
boiling water. But each reacted differently.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on
your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee
bean?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I
wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with an open heart, but changes with the
heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and
stiff?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot
water -- the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water
gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the
bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the
situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you
elevate yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee
bean?